Hello, I am bestselling erotica author Deanna Wadsworth. Thanks Michael for inviting me to chat today about ways to get the most out of the sex scenes in your books.
There are certain things when writing a sex scene which worry writers. Is it sexy? Am I going too far? Did I go far enough? Am I being realistic?
It’s okay, have no worries. You are not alone.
One thing to keep in mind is the SIX SENSES of writing good sex:
These 6 things are the core of a good love scene which keep it from being “insert Tab A into Slot B” They need to be layered throughout your scene. Most love scenes are a series of ACTION sentences. He thrust. He moaned. He led his lover to the bed.
Of course these are necessary but in order to keep it from becoming mechanical or robotic the character whose head the reader is in must also make it known what he is experiencing.
So let’s break these SIX SENSES down and see how to mingle them in with our ACTION sentences and use them to our advantage.
Example: Looking down, I watched my cock sliding in and out of his ass.
Graphic, yes. But it is also visually stimulating. It is telling you what the character is experiencing from his POV. Envision a camera on the main character’s head. What is he/she seeing? This is very important and used a lot in a love scene. However too much of a good thing and the scene just like the ACTION sentences.
Example: The wet sounds of my thrusting and his high pitched whimpers filled the room.
Now you are really there. You are hearing what the main character is hearing. This is vital because sex makes noise. There are sounds, grunts, skin slapping skin etc. If you want your reader to be there, to be aroused, they need to hear what the main character hears.
Example: Arching over his back, I took a deep inhale of the skin of his neck. His hair tickled my nose. His sweat and the coconut scent of his shampoo made me dizzy.
Wow! Now you are more absorbed than ever. Sensory memory is a powerful thing. We all can recall how we feel when we smell cookies baking, the scent of a campfire in the summer air. Whether pleasant or unpleasant, what your character remembers gives the scent of their lover power and draws them closer to that person or further away.
Example: That tight hole welcomed me with heat, sucking me in until I swore I would cum. His back was hot against my chest and I caressed him, loving the prickle of hairs beneath my fingertips.
First he feels heat, then the prickle of hairs. Remember touch goes both ways…no pun intended. The character who is telling the scene is being touched and touching. There are 2 sets of nerve endings involved in their enjoyment. Include both for maximum impact.
Example” I licked his neck, the chlorine of the pool sharp but intoxicating
This one, like smell, can be overused or ignored. They are vital for realism, but too much of a good thing will detract from your scene. Add them and disperse them throughout.
Like hot sauce, best used sparingly.
Example: I thought of all those warm happy memories of when I was a child, days spent at the beach, suntan lotion and warmth. Happy times. Could Jon represent that kind of happiness for me?
This emotion needs an explainer. You cannot have a lover thinking of childhood and not bring it back to who they are with. While unrealistic IRL sometimes, in a book readers want to be in the characters head and feel what they feel. Not just physically but emotionally. This is how you make a sex scene become a love scene. Sometimes you do not need this as much during the actual sex as you do after, but even in erotica do not discount how helpful it is to know how your character thinks this moment effects their heart and future.
An HEA, after all, is the heart of any good romance.
So in summary, the most important thing to remember is to get in your characters skin and heart. Once you are there, remember the SIX SENSES: Sight, Sound, Scent, Taste, Touch and Emotion.
A gentle blend of all six will give you a fantastic scene that leaves both you and your reader begging for more!
Just check this out:
Looking down, I watched my cock sliding in and out of his ass. The wet sounds of my thrusting and his high pitched whimpers filled the room. Arching over his back, I took a deep inhale of his neck. His hair tickled my nose. His sweat and the coconut scent of his shampoo made me dizzy. The tight, hot hole welcomed me, sucking me in until I swore I would cum. His back was hot against my chest and I caressed him, loving the prickle of his hair on my fingertips. I licked his neck, the chlorine of the pool sharp but intoxicating. I thought of all those warm happy memories of when I was a child, days spent at the beach, suntan lotion and warmth. Happy times. Could Jon represent that kind of happiness for me?
Bestselling erotica author Deanna Wadsworth leads a pretty vanilla life in Ohio with her hubby of 14 years and three demanding little dogs. She has a fascination with the exotic and taboo but it is her love of love in all its stages and incarnations which made her an erotica and m/m author.
You can find her on
And you can buy her books here:
Blurb for the Legend of Sleepy Hollow:
Ichabod Crane, town schoolmaster and self-proclaimed supernatural expert, wants to better his situation by marrying the wealthy Katrina Van Tassel. But, there is a rival for her attentions.
Local hero, Brom Bones.
Brom lives to torment and tease Ichabod, leaving the schoolmaster wondering if he is more interested in besting his rival than winning Katrina’s hand. Especially when each time Ichabod goes into the backroom of his favorite tavern – a place men can be men –his imagination conjures Brom's face on every lover.
Late one night, Ichabod is chased by the legendary Headless Horseman. Terrified the ghost wants his head, he tries to outrun the specter. To his horror, he is taken captive by the evil spirit.
Ichabod awakens, naked and tied to a bed, only to discover the Headless Horseman is none other than his rival Brom Bones! Brom confesses that Ichabod has been haunting his own fantasies and he vows to make Ichabod Crane his in every way.
Ichabod wants to believe the pleasure Brom offers comes from his heart, but he is afraid it is another one of Brom’s tricks.
Though surely an enemy's touch has never felt like this
If you would please, post a comment, Deanna will be drawing one lucky winner and giving you a copy of her erotic m/m retelling of THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW.
So please comment away!!!
Thank you Deanna for that very entertaining, hot, and educated post. READERS, comment so you can win the book!
Hope you enjoyed her visit!