Friday, May 17, 2013

Welcome to the Hop Against Homophobia Article #1 Sharita Lira

Welcome to the Hop against Homophobia! I'm really excited to take part in this HUGE event! To celebrate, I'm giving away some prizes. A couple of gift cards and some swag like jewelry from ILEP as well as some postcards. 

Along with the prizes, there are plenty of articles and since I'm the host for the TRIAD muses on this tour, they'll all stop in with their own articles. 

Let's begin with an article by the head about the fear of homoerotica!

And just a reminder folks, the International Day against Homophobia and Transphobia is today! Click here to find out more

When you think of how people feel about things related to the GLBT community it often comes from fear. People are scared of what’s not “normal” around them even if it has nothing to do with them directly.

Think about the word homophobe. A phobia means you’re afraid of something. For example, arachnophobia means scared of spiders, the creepies that have legs. Bleech. *laughs* What’s a homophobe?  According to the dictionary, a person who fears or hates homosexuality. Interesting that fear and hate are used synonymously. The person hates and or fears homosexuals.

Why on earth would someone be AFRAID of a homosexual or anyone part of the GLBT community for that matter? They aren’t like spiders, not monsters with three heads so why on earth would you hate another human just because you’re afraid? In fact, I’ll take it a step further, why should you care when someone else’s lifestyle has nothing to do with you? If you’re straight and don’t really agree with anything as far as the GLBT community then why not live your life and leave them alone?


It’s totally silly to me and that slightly took me off my topic. It wasn’t meant to be a soapbox box which actually my pseudo Michael Mandrake usually does. It was meant to tell you a funny story.

Ready? So, not that long ago I spent time with my husband watching a movie. In truth, we have such different tastes in film we rarely do this but we decided to take advantage of being alone together. Anyways, we loaded the Netflix and he spoke about a movie I’d never seen or heard of called Dorian Grey.

Dorian Gray in short is a movie about a man who becomes so enamored by himself when an artist paints his picture he sells his soul to stay young and gorgeous.

Hubby saved it in the queue for us to watch together so we did. Without giving everything away about the picture, there’s a part in the movie where the main character has a homoerotic scene. There is a kiss that lasts about 15 seconds and then the main character pushes the other man down on the floor implying oral sex and then it shows him unzipping. Then the scene shifts.

My husband’s reaction? As soon as the kiss was up, he covered his eyes and when it deepened a little which was by the way very hot, he left out the room. *laughs* Now, eventually he came back after the scene was over but when the movie finished, we talked about it a moment. I asked him, what was he so afraid of when he saw two men kissing on screen. He said, I was afraid of it going further and didn’t want to stick around to see what happened next. I rolled my eyes and said, really? I mean, it’s true, some movies especially some foreign films do go much farther than American films especially when it comes to a male/male scene but I told him, even if it did, it’s only a movie!

GOD! It’s a movie! You yourself aren’t on screen kissing the other man. Why should you care or be concerned? His response? “Oh c’mon, Sharita, I just don’t want to see that. I’m not a homophobe.” Oh but my dear hubby, according to the dictionary yes you are.

Tolerant means you’re able to tolerate the beliefs and actions of others. When you look that up, it doesn’t have an asterisk about sexuality. So, if you can’t even sit through a film that shows two men kissing, you are indeed a homophobe. You’re afraid of what you see just because you yourself don’t do it, don’t like it, and or don’t think it as normal.

So if I could change my husband’s thinking, I would say to not be considered a homophobe you can’t be disgusted even by something on the screen. Sure you have the right to leave the room but don’t say I’m not a phobe. Right? You might not be out there actively protesting but in a small way you’re contributing to the cause.  

Everyone is born different, not cut from the same cloth. Even though we’re all human, no two people are exactly the same, not even in the case of twins. We’re all unique and it’s time for all of us to respect each other’s differences even in regards to sexual orientation. Tolerance is the key. Maybe you might not agree with how people are or choose to live their lives but the key is to accept it and move on with your own life.

Accept everyone, “normal” or not in your eyes. Respect and tolerate! In real life and otherwise.

CONTEST #1 Comment below and you'll be entered in the contest to receive a jewelry item from ILEP

What is ILEP? I Like Em Pretty, my first book from the N'awlins Exotica Series.

Read More about it by clicking on the cover!

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KimberlyFDR said...

Thank you for taking part in the hop!

Angela said...

Thanks for participating in the hop!


Anonymous said...

Great post! It's not always easy to see the line if nobody points it out . . .

I think I'm looking right through any pix of your ILEP swag. :( Maybe I'll have to try and win some.


Debby said...

This is a great hop. I am enjoying the posts.
debby236 at gmail dot com

laurie said...

Thank you for taking part in the hop!

Urb said...

The movie was based on a book by Oscar Wilde called A Picture of Dorian Grey. Wilde was impridon, basically, for being a homosexual. Have things gotten better? Sure, but there's still a long way to go. Then you for an awesome post! I want to see that movie!

N.J. Nielsen said...

I loved you post and I must admit my hubby would react the same way even though our best friends are gay... slowly with each passing day my hubs gets a little more tolerant of things different than him - he makes me shake my head in wonder yet he proudly tells anyone who will listen what I write about (M/M genre)

Wendy Hoffman said...

Loved the post! Thank you for posting.

Julie Lynn Hayes said...

I think there's a good portion of the straight community that's afraid to find out they're not as straight as they think hey are, and just maybe they might be aroused by what they see.

It's nobody's business what goes on in someone else's bedroom. People need to mind their own business. They wouldn't like it if people came along and tried to keep them from being who they are. No one does.

Great post, Shar.

Pati May said...

Thanks for participating in the Hop, Sharita!

I know exactly what you mean about people thinking they're not homophobic then saying or doing something like what your hubby did. A dear friend (adopted family really) of ours has a sister who is a lesbian and I'd always thought that he and his wife were completely accepting of her and her wife. However a couple of years ago while they were in town visiting they invited his wife and I to go out dancing one night. I was thrilled they'd invited me because I love to dance and rarely get to because my hubby hates dancing so of course I happily accepted. Boy was I shocked when at the first opportunity to get me alone both he and his wife tried to talk me out of going, warning me that they'd be dancing together and would also dance with me.... Uh, yeah, so?!....and Gasp, as they got drunk they'd be kissing and things and oh it would just be too uncomfortable. ~sigh~ I was then warned that I'd be going alone because wifey would be convieniently getting a migraine an hour before we were to leave.
:-( I was so mad! So I lectured them both about acceptance and hypocrisy, went home fumed to hubby all afternoon then went out and had fun with two exceptionally great women. :-)

JPadawan11 said...

That was an awesome post. I would love to be entered in the conest. Thank you for doing the hop!


Andrew J. Peters said...

Hi Michael - I think you're talking about an important dimension of homophobia: straight men's fear of intimacy between two guys. I'm gay, and I don't cover my eyes when I see hetero couples kissing or at sex scenes in movies (they're not my favorite thing to witness, but it doesn't pull at me in a fearful, nauseating way). I'd venture to guess that most women -- hetero or lesbian -- don't have a problem with m/m or f/f intimacy. So what's with the straight guys? I agree - get over it!

nancy said...

Yep, he's a closet phobe. Oooh jewelry to go with the book! It is on deck to be read next.

H.B. said...

Thank you for taking part in the hop and for sharing your story.

humhumbum AT yahoo DOT com

Sophie Bonaste said...

Thank you so much for your post and participating in this amazing hop!

Carolyn said...

I recently saw someone say they didn't want to be "tolerated," as if they were something to endure or had to be accepted by others, and that really struck a chord inside of me.

Then, at a talk I went to, a director of a documentary told this story about a mom going to a leader in the community to talk about her gay son. It seemed like she wanted counsel about her son coming out, and what she really wanted to do was throw him a party, celebrate him.

Those two things clicked in my mind together, and now that's what I always think of what I want for anyone: a celebration of who they are, because it's a great thing, not something to be accepted, put up with, or "tolerated." Maybe it's just semantics, but words are a powerful thing, and sometimes just a subtle change makes a big difference in how people feel.

Thanks for the thought-provoking discussion, Sharita, and for the giveaway!

caroaz [at] ymail [dot] com

Sherry said...

Great post! Thank you for taking part in the hop!
sstrode at scrtc dot com

Peggy said...

Thank you for the great post, loved reading it.

peggy1984 at live dot com

Lena Grey said...

acceptance is the key. thanks!

Shadow said...

Hi! Thanks for being apart of this fantastic hop! Its sad how some people are. Im happy to say, im glad were all different! I think being brave enough to say you love someone, no matter the sex, is amazing! People should find there happiness. Who cares what others think. The only people that matter, are the ones in the relationship. Too many people in this world are simple minded. Thanks for sharing! Have a wonderful night!

Emily said...

Great post. I love what you told your hubby. I hate when people say something derogatory or intolerant of homosexuality and then try to make it better by saying, oh, i'm not a homophobe. Uh, yeah, you kinda are. Acceptance is the key, and thanks for sharing and participating.


Penumbra said...

Thanks for participating in this great hop!